Today I heard that the FBI has an 83 page guide to internet speaking

Today I Learned (TIL) that there is an 83 page FBI guide to internet slang filled with abbreviations entered by a complete troll or someone totally clueless, as recently reported by Input† And yes, TIL is actually included in the guide, but so are thousands of other abbreviations that I’m convinced someone just made up. Because nobody uses BTDTGTTSAWIO (been there, done that, got the T-shirt and wore it off)… right?

if Input points out that the FBI’s directory was made available through a 2014 Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request. If you decide to try it out, you should know that it’s pretty crappy quality, but it’s still mostly readable. The edge actually reported on this when it was first released; it hasn’t been ruminated in a while (and it’s the first I’ve heard of it). Almost 10 years later, it’s still just as funny.

“With the advent of Twitter and other social media on the Internet, the use of shorthand and acronyms has exploded,” explains the guide. “The DI’s Intelligence Research Support Unit (IRSU) has compiled an extensive — but far from exhaustive — list of shorthand and acronyms used on Twitter and other social media, such as instant messengers, Facebook and MySpace.”

It says it contains about 2,800 different examples of slang, which it says “should be useful in your job or keeping up with your children and/or grandchildren.” The guide also encourages agents to add more words to the list (and then describes how), making me wonder if there was an approval process for additional entries.

Here are some of the weirdest I’ve found:

  • 420: Drugs
  • BTWITIAILWU: By the way, I think I’m in love with you
  • DITYID: Did I tell you I’m depressed?
  • DBI: Douchebag Index
  • MAP: Human Alien Predator
  • MSR: Mulder Scully Romance
  • NAK: Nursing at the keyboard
  • PIMPL: Pee my pants laughing
  • PMT: premenstrual tension
  • SF: Surfer Friendly (Low Graphics Website)
  • TPM: Tactical Boyfriend Mention

Some of the words included aren’t even internet language; they’re just outright abbreviations people use in their careers, like DNR (don’t resuscitate), DNS (domain name service, and HSPDA (high speed packet data access). Others are just complete misinterpretations, like “LUL,” which apparently means “lame awkward laugh” and “LOLOL” means, interpreted as “laugh out loud a lot.” how to understand moderation filter bypassing “algospeak”.

Anyway, I’ve found some abbreviations that I might want to start using, such as IAMA (I’m a little amused) and maybe even LIMB (laughs in my brain).

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